To Each His Own in Love, Life, and Death

I thought I was doing fine but I guess I was wrong. Looks like I actually may be going to the counseling center soon. It’s always better to talk to someone who has no connection as to why you’re feeling a certain way. Maybe that’s what I need. An unconnected party and some psychiatric help. I’ve been too pensive tonight, so on that note Goodnight world.

Kid, you show too much emotion. It’s your fatal flaw. People take advantage of you or fling blame in your direction because they feel you’ll be fine with it. Don’t let them kid. Show them you’re in charge of yourself. Your emotions are just holding you back. Hide them. Treat the world like dirt and you’ll rule it soon enough. Kid, you’re meant for greatness. You can’t be pushed all your life and land on fame safely. Get a façade and become great.

A rocket ship lands on a distant alien planet. For convenience
sake, let’s say it’s a fifties-style rocket – kind of
a Buck Rogers rocket with racing stripes and fins. The
rocket lands and the captain sends out a landing party.
Among the members of the party are a father – a middle
aged rocket engineer named Frank—and Frank’s strapping
twenty-year-old son, Bob.
The landing party is not far from the ship when they
are attacked by an alien monster that looks suspiciously
like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Frank is killed. In fact, everyone
in the landing party is killed except for Frank’s son,
Bob, who hides in a convenient cave. The monster then
turns on the ship, ready to attack.
For the sake of the rest of the crew, the captain must
order the ship to take off, abandoning Bob. The bridge
crew looks at the captain and the captain says, “I can’t
leave Bob behind. He’s my son.”
Who is the captain?

Pat Murphy, a renowned female Science Fiction writer, once said this in a speech at WisCon. There’s more to this speech aside from this story and it gives a very large outlook on our perception.

It’s scary how much this makes you think about gender roles and assumptions in our modern society. We don’t expect the captain to be female because we see what we expect to see, and distort other evidence to fit our expectations. Its one of the major problems of today and it needs to be fix. It’s not the job of solely women to aid in altering these perceptions, it the whole of our people. Change lies in everyone’s hands.

P.S. Everyone should check out Pat Murphy’s speech titled “Illusion And Expectation” from WisCon 15 March 2 1991. It’s one of the most alluring things I’ve read recently and it forces you to think about how you perceive gender in this society. So check it out.

I don’t really like certain secrecies. For example, if you care about someone very much, I feel like you should instantly tell them how you feel because it’s honest and people should really respect that. The fact that you’re willing to let them know should be a sign of courage worthy of appreciation. If you don’t have the courage to tell someone how you feel, then why care for them at all? That’s why I would prefer if people told me true things openly, no matter whether it be positive or negative. Truth just leaves more time for acceptance. And this is one very interesting truth I believe in.

“Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough for someone, because you are. You honestly, truly are. If they don’t see that, then they’re not worth your time. You’re beautiful and no one has the right to ignore that fact. Some day you’ll find a person who sees that and will accept and praise everything that you are. And if no one does, then fuck them. Fuck them all because I know the greatness that you are in every single way and that should be more than enough to make anyone happy. Any asshole who makes you walk home alone in the rain late at night doesn’t deserve to have you in his arms ever again. You deserve someone much better. I just hope you’ll one day realize your potential and ignore the assholes trying to bring you down because there are men out there waiting to care for you solely based off of your inner beauty. Guys like me, and not the one you’re I’m bed with right now.”

One day I’ll write this for a character and remember how close to home his emotions were in relation to my past self.

Is this what emotional relapse feels like? Maybe counseling isn’t such a bad idea.

“Believe it, zombie. When I say growth I mean growth. Capital appreciation. You can stop sweating. There’s a great future there.”- (The Girl Who Was Plugged In)

I’m entirely in love with this short story. I just finished reading it for class and i can’t stop thinking about it. This is gonna be a great class based on this alone. Really can’t wait.